Every year, this week is like no other. I honestly can feel almost nothing other than pure hate flowing through my veins like a supervirus. There’s no cutting this hate with baking soda, it’s pure and unadulterated. Not like with basketball, where the aura of inevitability (and the fact that the Holes are almost always national contenders even if we upset them) takes a little air out of the balloon. It also doesn’t matter where NC State falls on the scale of “pretty good” to “dumpster fire” – even when the Holes are relatively good in football…they always kinda suck. And we’ve seen some utter dogshit Wolfpack squads kick Hole arse up and down the field. Home or away, there’s always hope.
Not to say there’s ever that much joy involved. Because all my emotions are negative. I just hate those bastards so much. When I was a younger man, I frequently would talk loudly to myself in C-F, or scream at my television. Now at age 40, I mostly abstain from booze, and can keep my irritation in check, consistent with the social contract. Except for once a year. Probably the closest I ever came to a stroke was the year the Holes made up the “spitting” incident, and one DL (Coples?) hit Russell Wilson at least three strides out of bounds. Fortunately, the kids weren’t home (I wouldn’t have been able to modulate if they had been), though I scared the bejeezus out of my cats. Proving that Karma is indeed real, the Hole cheap shots woke up a slumbering Wolfpack, and we fought back for a satisfying win.
Though “satisfying” is relative. As with any win in this series, the prediominant emotion is relief. Crisis averted, as we don’t have to put up with their celebrations, their smug faces in the office Monday morning (thank f-ck I am NOT on Facebook, given that I don’t like people very much), just the knowledge that Wal Mart nation is happy. Even after the game, my main thoughts were of how mad I would be that no discipline would be forthcoming from the Swoffy cabal that runs our wretched league. I penned a screed on SFN, as a matter of fact. Look it up.
This year, it’s even worse than usual, even factoring out the extrapolated hate level (it accumulates over time, much like radiation exposure). After the cheating bastards ordered “rings” for their fake division title last year. At 5-and-f-cking 3, which even that was only possible thanks to a late 4th quarter Wolfpack bed shitting that ruined TOB’s perfect series record, and essentially ended his career as a head coach. After the continuing denials that they’ve done anything wrong. Just at the fact that these worthless wastes of carbon still exist, really.
Yesterday, I took one of my kids to the dentist. Saw a car with NC State decals, but also a “UNC Mom” sticker. I told my little one that she could go to UNC if she really wanted (my decree is any UNC system school other than EZU)…but she needed to know that I would never put a decal with that logo on my car or body. Don’t take it personally, just know in advance. Fortunately, she wants to get a scholarship and go to UCLA. Very specific, goal-oriented kid, that one. And thank God for that.
Dave Doeren, this week is your entire season. 1-7 in the league is totally fine. Just know that the “1” needs to come 30-31 hours from now. It really, really does.
