Avid Cupcake Enthusiast Marvin Austin’s Pictorial Journey

SFN Note: We proudly welcome ‘Old MacDonald’ to the SFN author team with this entry. His first one is destined to become an SFN classic!

The team at StateFansNation thought it would be nice to take a break from the stress of wondering how UNC-CH will skate from major NCAA sanctions and sit back and enjoy the pure comedic value of the larger-then-life cartoon figure that is, Marvin Austin. 

Just so I can get this out of the way – I personally DO NOT CARE what the NCAA and/or UNC-CH do about this stuff.  ‘MA’ has already succeeded so well in making such an ass of himself – and, served to indict UNC-CH’s “Public Ivy” admissions office and academic program – that asking for more would be nothing short of greedy. 

As you read through this entry and view the pictures and Austin’s comments below, do not let yourself forget that this is a guy who is probably on track to graduate with an actual degree from “Public Ivy” UNC-CH.  Use that as your backdrop as we take a pictorial  journey with Marvin through his life this past semester.  Marvin posted all of this himself but really it deserved a better platform…and we are just the guys to give it to him.

Also, I intend this piece to be very interactive.  I admittedly do not know a lot about the current and former UNC-CH football players with whom Austin spends time or where agents live.  So please leave comments here explaining things to me and to others.  Also, I have no idea about the expensive sunglasses he likes and wears in some pictures.  Furthermore, many of his tweets, grammar and slang are completely unintelligible to me; so I would greatly appreciate others correcting and explaining things to me.

Let’s kick it off with the following picture and comment from February 10th of this year:

Marvin explains ^this murky picture with the following comment:

Message: This fuck ass cop gives me a ticket. Stating that he coulD hear my music from 30 feet away..like wtf…
“wtf” indeed.


These next shots went up March 12th.  The exact condos where these were taken at is a mystery to me; but I liked the cool Koi pond picture so I included them.  These seem to be around a visit Marvin took to Vonte Davis (sp?) — whoever that is.  So maybe this is where Vonte lives?
Here are the Koi at Vonte’s place:


On to April!…

This^ is a picture of Weslye Saunders taken by Marvin on April 24th of this year in what sure looks to be a hotel room.  Apparently this is in Washington, D.C. 

Now, I have a few observations here —

(1) Washington, DC is Marvin’s hometown. Correct? Then, why is he with his friend at a hotel in his hometown?  How many of you went ‘home’ in college so that you someone else could spend money on a nice hotel room. If all of Austin’s travel to D.C. is to be explained as him “just being at home,” then I guess the NCAA might find it interesting to know who is paying for the hotel room in Marvin’s hometown and why he needs one?

(2) I also believe school was in session then, so it’s pretty cool that they could blow off everything right before exams like that and have such an awsome road trip.  (Remember my previous comments of how this guy is on track to get a degree from the ‘public ivy’? Who needs exams?!)  I mean, I always had lots of papers and stuff to work on that time of year, but I just went to NC State so what do I know?  It strikes me that he really travels a lot while he is able to hold down his public ivy classload. 

Some of you might be wondering how I know that this was April 24th and how I know this is Saunders (and how I know about all of the dates in this piece for that matter.)  I know these things because Marvin did such an outstanding job keeping the ENTIRE WORLD informed about his whereabouts, with the dates Twitter apparently puts on all pictures.  To wit:

So you can see the date thing there.  I am very new to this Twitter thing so you will have to bear with me.

Hey, while we are talking about Weslye, I think it might be cool to see some of the tweets these guys did together.

That is some high-level Public-Ivy-caliber discussion going on there.  Anyway let’s move on.

May rolled around and we learned that Marvin likes guns.  Here is him at a gun show:

With this one Marvin tweeted:

Message: Da taurus 500 maggie…call it da bust it baby!!!!!!
We learned that he likes firearm periodicals:


His marksmanship is a little dubious, however, as we learn from this picture apparently taken at a trip to the range:

With the message:

Message: Hit da bullseye twice…I think I should join the .u.s rangers..oh but I shot a hostage too…opps

I think I would rather be the gunman than the hostage.  I mean, the bad guy got winged a couple times while the hostage is dead for sure thanks to Marvin.

Marvin had some kind of dealings with a Gucci credit card on May 7th.  This is where I really start to need the Barbara Billingsly character from “Airplane!” to translate for me.  Help me out!

With the tweet:

Message: If ur this aint come wit cha gucci sorry u got that fugazii!!!!! Don’t get locked up wit that fake sh*t
Message: Oh yea that’s the back of the. Official I jus coped some authentic gucci card…yea its blank cause I jus got sum new new..haha

Austin was back in D.C. on May 10.  No indications regarding whether he was in a hotel, but we know he went to his favorite restaurant!  We know this because he thought it was important to take a picture of the bill and show it to the world:

In addition to really liking the Cheesecake Factory a lot, most people probably did not realize that Marvin is an avid cupcake enthusiast!  As a side note here, NFL teams might want to take note of his fetish-like relationship with food.  Many, many times he tweeted a picture of a full plate of food with a boast about it.  Sometimes he even posted a picture of the empty plate after his meal.

For example, with this picture:

He tweets:

Message: Nan nany boo boo u can’t get none….in my( 5 year old voice)…hahahah

 Let me just say that if he shows up to his NFL training camp next year weighing 400 pounds, nobody should be surprised.  Anyway I got sidetracked there.  Back to the cupcakes.  Check this out:


With that last one he tweeted:

Message: 40 a dozen!!!!!! Well worth it!!!
I don’t know about everyone else thinks about this, but those better be some damn good cupcakes to spend $40 for a dozen of them.

So if anyone wants to experience the “best cupcakes in the world,” get yourself to D.C. and go to Georgetown!  Hey, if Marvin gets drafted by the Redskins, maybe they will pay him to do cupcake commercials.  This is an example of a portion of this piece where I would like people to remember that this guy, who is taking boastful pictures of cupcakes and posting them for the world, is a likely future UNC-CH “Public Ivy” graduate. 

OK, this is where things get really fun.  On May 15th, Marvin and the extra-classy Greg Little were in Miami together.  Here is a super picture of them with two young ladies:

Check out these badasses who are a combined 0-6 against NC State!  I like how Greg wears his hat backwards so we all know how cool he is.  Also, I have been debating whether I should point out that Marvin has bigger boobs than either of his two dates in this picture.  Moving along…

Apparently Marvin likes Miami, or someone in Miami, because he was back on Memorial Day Weekend!  Check out his tweets:

As best as I can tell, in the above tweets Marvin is conveying his affection for “LIV,” an upscale Miami nightclub.  He likes it so much he jokes that he gets the “tennant rate” because he is there so much.  I wonder how much these “bottles” cost and who was paying for them.

I guess Kendrick Burney was with Marvin in Miami.  I don’t know who that is but I am told he is somnehow significant.  Anyway this is a cool picture.

Moving on, he was back in D.C. for a football camp on June 12th.  Apparently MacAdoo and Balmer were with him this time.  I don’t know who those guys are, either, but here they helping out the youngsters at a football camp in Marvin’s hometown where he also gets hotel rooms.  I think it is super that he puts himself out there as a role model for the young kids.  I am not going to make fun of him for that.

Here is some bonus material that did not really fit well into my timeline format but is too good to leave out.  Think of this as being like the extra material on a DVD. 

This was put up on April 15.  I want to alert the luxery car dealers wherever Marvin happens to be when his ship comes in — you have a live one!  There were several like this taken at various locations.

I thought our Duke friends would get a kick out of this one:

Marvin’s comment:

Message: So clean

I think it is fitting to “end” on this one, but I have no earthly idea what this thing is.  Someone needs to help me out here.

Marvin’s comment sheds little light on what it is:

Message: Get cha @roxyreynolds ass..for your liking..#1 on my wish list
Let’s all give Marvin a big “thank you” for providing all of this great free entertainment!


Big Four Rivals Miscellaneous & Fun Stuff UNC Scandal

30 Responses to Avid Cupcake Enthusiast Marvin Austin’s Pictorial Journey

  1. TheAliasTroll 07/21/2010 at 5:19 PM #

    “May rolled around and we learned that Marvin likes guns.”

    LOOOOL. I seriously lost it! That was just too funny when I first read it.

    Good entry! Glad we can all enjoy it!

  2. halfbearhalfcat 07/21/2010 at 7:04 PM #

    Hilarious! I love this post even though I’m not even an NC State fan.

    One note: I’m pretty sure that’s not a Gucci credit card. I think it’s just a certificate of authenticity that lets you know you’re getting a real Gucci and not a knock-off. Don’t ask me how this guy got a blank one though…

  3. hoop 07/21/2010 at 9:42 PM #

    Looks at the pic at the gun show.

    Starvin Marvin’s got a cupcake stain on his T shirt!

    Reminds of that Saturday Night Live digital short…

    2! NO 6! NO 12! BAKER’S DOZEN!!!


    It’s the Chronic – What? – Cles of Carolina!

    It’s the Chronic – What? – Cles of Carolina!

    It’s the Chronic – What? – Cles of Carolina!

    It’s the Chronic – What? – Cles of Carolina!


  4. bradleyb123 07/22/2010 at 10:34 AM #

    I think I would rather be the gunman than the hostage. I mean, the bad guy got winged a couple times while the hostage is dead for sure thanks to Marvin.

    This part made me laugh. This is good stuff.

    On a serious note, some comments from UNX fans on other blogs seem to send the message that if only they had not tweeted and posted blog comments, they wouldn’t be in trouble now. While that is probably true, they don’t seem to CARE that this stuff (whatever it was) was going on. They’re just upset with getting CAUGHT. Shameful.

  5. bradleyb123 07/22/2010 at 10:44 AM #

    I am not concerned about MA. That stuff comes and goes. What I want to know is what the “corporate culture” is over in Chapel Hill that condones, overlooks and does not prevent this behavior. It looks like it was going on for a long time with MA. Did no one on the coaching staff or at the university see this or was told about it? I suspect that some of the higher ups looked at MA’s postings and just looked the other way. “We are supposed to be champions in the classroom, champions in the community and champions on the field” (TOB). MA looks to be the Champion of cheesecakes and cupcakes.

    This is why I think a case could be made for lack of institutional control. There was PLENTY of evidence publicly available (the NCAA got it, does anyone REALLY think UNX didn’t also see it?) So the university either knew about all this and CHOSE to ignore it, or they didn’t know when they really SHOULD have known. In either case, it could arguably be considered a lack of institutional control.

    What stinks is they will probably just get a slap on the wrist where we would get the stiffest penalties available. And the News & Disturber will portray them in the best light possible, while we all know they would GRILL us if the shoe were on OUR foot.

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