Comrades! As part of Glorious Revolution, it has come to our attention that the filthy dogs of the Western media have been spreading slanderous lies to discredit Commandant Gottfried and our Red brethren from the Oklahoma Oblast. Seems as if they have already written their Sunday columns about Michigan State and Louisville, as if Friday’s games need not be played. This is outrage, da?
All that we ask is for a fair opportunity for our athletes to compete, and let our superior camaraderie and unity of purpose drive the Western devils back to their filthy lairs in Kentucky and East Lansing. Is this too much to ask? As such, the Supreme Soviet asks that the Proletariat combine our efforts in solidarity, and urge one another along in our righteous efforts tonight, and make Jay Bilas cry as he will have no narrative for the rest of his weekend. He might even have to use his brain for critical thought and have his fundamental assumptions of the world order challenged and toppled by Glorious Red Truth.