Stick To Basketball, Dukies

Irony, thy name is Duke Basketball Report.

In a spittle-flying screed entitled “Cheap Shot From A Cheap Site,� the DBR fulminates over the Giant comparing the Atlantic Coast Conference to France (our alma mater), England, (UNC), and Germany (Duke) – the last of which I describe as the new strength arising under a malevolent leader.

“But, but, but… Coach K is the son of Polish immigrants,� sputter the outraged Dukies. And the awful Giant, they say, has compared Coach K to HITLER… “Just an incredibly thoughtless, ignorant, and uneducated thing to say.� It’s true, they say – if you can’t go to college, go to State.
Does SFN, they rave, have no sense of history?

Actually, yes we do, and somewhat more of one (by all appearances) than the nerdish jock-sniffers who populate the DBR. The Giant’s often pondered that the supposed “superior education� offered at Ivy League wannabes like Duke is somewhat dubious when the rubber hits the road. The DBR’s March 21 hack job on the Giant’s jocular little column certainly adds grist to that mill.

You see, as anyone who’s taken a reputable European history course can attest, the DBR’s talking through its hat with this rant. The classic European struggle for power between England, France, and Germany reached its essence between 1870 (the end of the Franco-Prussian War, when Germany was created) and 1914’s “Guns of August,� which signaled the start of what became World War One. During that period, a new and resurgent German Empire arose from a collection of fairly fragmented states into a military and political juggernaut that soon supplanted France as the powerhouse of continental Europe. Sort of the way, you know, Duke supplanted State basketball in the ACC.

And Germany enjoyed this rise under the malevolent (to those who, well, didn’t want to be German) leadership of – Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, the “Iron Chancellor,� a master geopolitical strategist, who incidentally never abused a Pole in his life. And it was Bismarck, not Hitler, to whom the Giant was comparing Coach K. Not the nicest guy to his enemies, Otto, but you have to give the man credit for genius – as the Giant was crediting Coach K.

“Mein Gott – Dukies Schiesskopfs Ist!”

I suggest remedial reading in the form of Robert K. Massie’s “Dreadnought,� which explains all of this – assuming mein Kameraden at the DBR can put down the latest recycled John Feinstein dreck long enough to learn some history.

Now, precisely who needs to go to college again?


109 Responses to Stick To Basketball, Dukies

  1. site admin 03/21/2006 at 8:52 AM #

    Add a strain of irony to this…”Iron Chancellor” and the Duke booster club is called “Iron Dukes”

  2. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 8:55 AM #

    Hell, I forgot that. Too many ducks (Dukes?) on this particular pond, I guess. “Iron Dukes” may also be a Wellington reference, from back in the time when a Duke education meant you learned something.

  3. AlaskanAssassin 03/21/2006 at 9:09 AM #

    When the Alaskan hoop regime rises again, Carlos Boozer and I will ride triumphant into Raleigh and excise all the ghosts of the N.C. State past from the rafters of State’s campus.

  4. class of '74 03/21/2006 at 9:13 AM #

    A large percentage of the followers of DBR, if the truth be known, are rednecks from Durham who never qualified for entry to Duke. Get over yourselves.

  5. rj 03/21/2006 at 9:14 AM #

    Lets see then,

    Wake Forest would be Scotland.
    Clemson would be Bulgaria.
    Virginia would be Italy.
    Virginia Tech would be Luxembourg.
    Miami would be Belgium.
    Florida State would be the Netherlands.
    Maryland would be Spain.
    Boston College would be Russia.
    Georgia Tech would be Poland.

  6. site admin 03/21/2006 at 9:16 AM #

    But the dookies want to be Poland.

  7. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 9:17 AM #

    What really tickles me is the assertions of group ignorance on the part of NC State coupled with a historical gaffe of mammoth proportions.

  8. BJD95 03/21/2006 at 9:18 AM #

    They don’t want to get into a history battle – particularly a military history battle – with C.G., that’s for sure.

  9. DBR 03/21/2006 at 9:25 AM #

    “Then there’s the relatively new behemoth, the tower of strength that arose under the leadership of a malevolent leader – Duke, naturally, as Germany.”

    Why would anyone assume you were referring to Hitler?

  10. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 9:31 AM #

    ^ You wouldn’t unless you were an idiot. Or, to be fair, had no real grounding in European history.

    Still think we didn’t go to college?

  11. Matt 03/21/2006 at 9:34 AM #

    Just leave it alone, DBR. They were obviously comparing Duke to Hitler and, when called on it, hastily constructed the response on page one to try to weasel out. Any ‘malevolent leader’ referenced alongside German history is a Hitler reference. They know it.

    Otherwise its like speaking of “the great songrwriters from the Beatles” and then trying to pretend like you were talking about Ringo Starr and George Harrison.

    And, by the way, NC State isn’t even France anymore (third place power), fellas, That would be Maryland.

  12. Ben 03/21/2006 at 9:37 AM #

    Speaking of the DBR (kind of), has anyone read Featherston’s “Tobacco Road : Duke, Carolina, N.C. State, Wake Forest, and the History of the Most Intense Backyard Rivalries in Sports”?

    I can’t get my hands on it here in the midwest — sad, given that I’m a librarian, but I can’t justify spending Missouri taxpayer money on books about ACC history, even if Sendek does replace The Quin Snyder Hair Explosion Experience at Mizzou. But before I spend *my* money on a book written by a guy who writes for the DBR, I wanted to get some feedback from my corner of the ACC. I mean, if it’s a hatchet job of all things non-Duke, then I can think of better ways to use that money … like lining a birdcage. But if it’s even-handed and well-researched, it could be worth reading.

    Any thoughts? Thanks!

  13. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 9:37 AM #

    Matt, I can see how, to the historically ignorant person (you), Hitler would be an option. However, Hitler’s Germany was a flash in the pan and an utter failure in less than six years. It’s inconceivable that he would be given credit for supplanting France, which happened following 1870.

    This stuff is a lot simpler if you’re dumb, I agree.

    And ya gotta love Matt’s argument:

    DBR: Giant said K was like Hitler!
    Giant: No, I didn’t. I was complimenting him by comparing him to one of the greatest geopolitical strategists in history.
    Matt: Give it up, WE know they were referring to Hitler.


  14. Matt 03/21/2006 at 9:44 AM #

    Right, buddy. No reference in your original post other than ‘new strength rising under a malevolent leader’ and only an ignorant person would think of Hitler.

  15. class of '74 03/21/2006 at 9:46 AM #

    Matt is probably one of the former American Tobacco employees that’s also a Duke fan. His comments fit the template.

  16. BJD95 03/21/2006 at 9:47 AM #

    Cardiff Giant just tossed out some bait, and you guys went for it. Accept the embarrassment and move on.

  17. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 9:48 AM #

    Matt, I feel just fine about the situation, including that my historical education, provided by NC State, is clearly far superior to that provided by, well, wherever you attended college. Assuming you did, and are not posting from a Durham mailroom – always an option when Duke fans are at issue.

  18. Sam '92 03/21/2006 at 9:50 AM #

    by the way . . . why get your knickers in a twist if the comparison was to the 20th century instead of the 19th century?

    the piece was about n.c. state as hapless france, the other comparisons were incidental, the whole thing was obviously not literal, and only a whining moron would take it to mean that anyone was saying coach K is some kind of nazi

    or maybe the dookies are just feeling so bored and insecure that they have to police everyone else’s blogs?

  19. newswolf 03/21/2006 at 9:54 AM #

    Another thought, I don’t know if we could call UNC England since they were a weak country that needed the US to bail us out.

    So maybe Duke=Germany, UNC=Russia (which is fitting [commies]), Wake=England, Maryland=Italy

  20. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 9:57 AM #

    Sam, good point. I call the Jerseyites an “elite program” in the column at issue and then they insist I am referring to their coach as Adolf Hitler? Nutty.

    Newswolf, good point – except we bailed out Russia with Lend Lease during WWII; other than that, Russia is a better comparison but (a) didn’t fit the continental model, and (b) isn’t as funny as, well, FRANCE.

  21. DBR 03/21/2006 at 9:59 AM #

    Most superiorly educated people are willing to admit error.

    We all go to NC State.

  22. robowolf 03/21/2006 at 10:01 AM #

    DBR = Wayne

  23. Cardiff Giant 03/21/2006 at 10:06 AM #

    “Most superiorly educated people are willing to admit error.”

    Indeed. I assume, then, that your site will issue its front-page apology any time now. Considerin’ y’all went up to the college, an’ all.

    “We all go to NC State.”

    Indeed we do – but not all of us whore ourselves to American Express.

  24. David 03/21/2006 at 10:38 AM #

    You know what you guys were actually thinking of is pretty much irrelevant. Bismarck or no, talking about German strength under a malevolent leader in a conflict with England and France is pretty damn easy to interpret as Hitler. And that is all that matters.

  25. BJD95 03/21/2006 at 10:41 AM #

    ^ Exactly why should we have to care, David? Because some over-sensitive Duke homers took it a certain way?

    The main point of the whole post was to make fun of OUR OWN SITUATION. Get over yourselves, already.

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