If you are pulling for the Steelers today, then you definitely hope that Big Ben has not been going out very much since getting to Detroit. (Warning — jealous men should not click on that link!) You also hope that Big Ben isn’t a “Bad Jock” like some of the past participants in the Super Bowl…and some that really weren’t participants at all. (Video)
Some people won’t even be watching the Super Bowl today and may find comfort in some alternative programming; but most people don’t care who is playing, it is the Super Bowl, damnit!
But, if you are planning on watching, then this will wet your gambling whistle and the following is for your viewing pleasure as you watch your wagers:
The Esquire Super Bowl Drinking Game
* Any time a commentator refers to Super Bowl XL as “Super Bowl Extra Large,” drink twice.
* When the singer of The Star-Spangled Banner adds a syllable to a word (e.g., “bra-A-a-A-a-A-a-A-a-VUH” ), take a drink for each syllable.
* If ABC goes to the Skycam, drink.
* If going to the Skycam makes it harder to understand what’s going on, drink three times.
* Any time during the first five minutes of the game an overly hyped-up player punctuates a routine block or tackle with a self-congratulatory celebration, drink twice.
* If a handmade sign in the stands includes an ill-crafted slogan suggested by the initials A<, B, and C , such as "plAxico Beats Cincinnati!" drink twice. * If John Madden uses the telestrator to highlight the way an overweight fan is eating kielbasa, drink. * Every time Al Michaels awkwardly plugs an ABC prime-time show, take two drinks. * If the cameraman finds a celeb in the stands, take two shots. * HALFTIME-SHOW BONUS ROUND: Chug a beer for as long as it takes a crowd of overenthusiastic children to run from the sidelines to the foot of the stage at the beginning of the performance. * If Paul McCartney emerges from a trap door singing "Dancing in the Street," continue drinking until liver failure.
