I hope that everyone had an enjoyable Labor Day weekend. Mine started Thursday morning on a trip to Myrtle Beach (sans kids) with friends and relatives. We’ve had a good time, but I’ve seen a number of things that I just had to share:
– The gates along the Mason-Dixon Line are still unlocked.
– There are bikinis sold in larger sizes than you would think necessary. However, there are evidently many people that don’t realize that larger sizes are available.
– There is definitely a time and place for tiny bikinis. However, those times/places are not as frequent as some people think.
– From TOB: Stats are a lot like bikinis in that what they reveal is interesting; but what they conceal could be vital.
VA82 corollary: Stats are also like bikinis because they can both reveal things that you wish you hadn’t seen.
– Most people look better with their clothes on. Many of the exceptions to this rule dress to show that they are NOT most people.
– There are at least a few plastic surgeons on the east coast that are doing good work.
– Who knew that “middle-aged hooker†was a fashion niche?
– There are still states so backward that smoking indoors hasn’t been banned yet. If you ever find me permanently relocated to one of these states, then you can be sure that something has gone horribly wrong with the master plan.
– You might be a redneck if the day before you are getting married on the beach, you wander around inviting complete strangers to attend the ceremony.
– Water seeks its own level. Sand seeks the most sensitive places to collect.
– I played corn toss (cornhole) for the first time this weekend. They say that confession is good for the soul. We’ll see.
– If beach music is so great, then why didn’t anyone ever make more than a dozen songs?
– Alcohol abuse has been shown to have many deleterious effects. When combined with karaoke, you can add “hearing†and “the will to live†to the list.
– Pain medicine and alcohol do not mix well….unless your intentions were to pass out on the beach and then wake up when it is time to vomit.
– Alcohol doesn’t help you dance any better. It simply removes the normal inhibitions that most people have about looking stupid and deadens the pain when you fall.
– I’m not sure if drunks are stupid or if stupid people get drunk so that they will have an excuse. But I’m beginning to think that both assertions may be true.
– From Dean Vernon Wormer:
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Obviously, Dean Wormer never visited Myrtle Beach.
