Current UNC Student perfectly articulates the “New Carolina Way” (update day 83)

Yesterday I told you about the Daily Tar Heel’s excellent editorial calling for Butch’s ouster.

Well today the DTH published an exquisite reply from a current UNC student.  I don’t think I am supposed to repost entire pieces from other sources, so I will ask all readers to now go to that link and read in full the student’s submission.  Then we will discuss it piecemeal.  Go ahead, I will wait.

 Isn’t it fabulous!  It is perfect in every way.  The DTH staff must have laughed for 15 minutes straight upon its receipt.

 Let’s dig right in.  After questioning “the functionality” of the “brain” of the editorial writer, the “Public Ivy” student jumps right in with this jewel:

Butch Davis came to this university to win, not to uphold academic integrity.

Well let’s see.  Given Butch’s 22-20 overall record, losing conference record, 0-2 bowl record, and 0-3 record against State, I would say that Butch has only accomplished one of these directives, and it’s not the winning part.  Now, with the “not upholding academic integrity” part, Butch has been a superstar.  Later in the same paragraph he continues:

 If you want academic integrity, go to Duke.

At this point I became very suspicious that this is actually a clever Duke student writing a parody letter.  I still think this is possible, although I am sure that the DTH staff thought the same thing and checked out the author.  Later he proclaims:

I love Butch Davis, I love UNC football, but most importantly I love the combination of those two.

I don’t even know what to say here.  The cult-like following Davis apparently enjoys is remarkable to me given that he is not an alumnus, does not seem particularly charismatic, and has not won much.  Anyway, Davis apparently does enough for this guy to “love” him, apparently even apart from UNC football.  OoooKaaay.

“There’s still no definitive evidence of Davis being directly involved.” Well if that’s your logic, there’s no definitive evidence of me being an Eskimo, but apparently if the DTH can think it up, I must be it.

“I must be it”?  That is some top-notch Pubilc Ivy writing right there folks.  I started to write a whole long thing explaining that he might be closer with his analogy if the DTH called him an “Eskimo” after observing him living in an igloo near arctic circle year-round, hunting seals, wearing a big furry coat, and rubbing noses to kiss.  But everyone understands the point without me going into all that.

More importantly, Davis does not have to be “directly involved” to be responsible.  That’s what “institutional control” is all about.  We already know for sure that the Associate Head Coach/Recruiting Coordinator was “directly involved.”

 The only definitive evidence is that this piece was worthy of the Nobel Prize for crap.

See, now I am back thinking this is a Duke student perpetrating a parody.  Seriously, someone about to graduate from college should really be beyond 8th-grade insults.  Also, this sentence is wide open to the ironic interpretion that the “this piece” referenced actually  refers to the letter to the editor itself rather than the editorial, thereby actually causing his letter to insult itself.  Well done!

My advice to the DTH: Support Butch, support UNC football, and re-evaluate your writing staff and your purpose on this campus.

I guess he thinks the purpose of the DTH should be to help subvert the school’s academic integrity for a football coach who has gone 22-20.

Let me say one more thing to contextualize (is that a word?) this UNC student’s letter to the editor.  I would argue that this letter is a direct result of the ridiculous positions the UNC leadership has taken since the Butch bombshells started dropping.  Whether they mean to or not, Thorp and Baddour are sending a message to the world IDENTICAL to that communicated by the author of this absurd letter to the editor, which could just as easily be a parody.   Think about that.