There is a K-Mart Blue Light Special on Tar and Feathers and Pitchforks and Torches. They are all in RED (some with White Stripes). Some are even “Logo” models signed by Dr. Larry Monteith….who lead the LAST witch hunt and burned Valvano at the stake….Signature models, of course, will be more expensive….but you will have a real momento of your despair.
You can also get your “We want (FIB) Back” buttons there. Online orders being taken. For every $100 spent, you get 15 minutes with an Online Counselor to ease your emotional damage.
Word is that the Counselors are the 45 YO “Talk Dirty to Me” ladies that have been displaced from the 1-900 numbers due to Internet Stars with cameras and real bodies.
Don’t wait….supplies are limited and the Online Counseling offer ends at midnight tonight.
