According to Stan Freiberg’s “US History – Pt 1”, the Wild Turkey was the Nation’s symbol. Eagle’s were for roasting. When the first Thanksgiving celebration was planned, the State Department gave the catering contract to a connected large donor. They subbed it out to a non-documented firm. The wife’s owner had a crush on a high ranking US Official. Rather than supervise the preparation, she had a sordid encounter with him
As a result, the recently crossed the border cook slaughtered Teddie, the National Bird and stuffed him with leftover Tacos from the last job.
The mistake was discovered and history was rewritten. A recent WikiLeaks data dump contained videos of Monica and her chief cook conniving the storyline to cover their shenanigans.
Eddie, the main course, was then thrust into his character that we know today.
Moral of this….rectify history and destroy Eddie….lest the mighty Doeren’s dauntless lads be dubbed…. Teddie.
And to all, a good night.
