As heard from the Ghosts on the South Smoking Porch at Reynolds…
some of whom were CE’s… some of whom weren’t…
RE: Raised Garden Beds…
1. There’s nothing on God’s green earth that’s truly level…
2. Following your diagram or sketch…Set your posts, square them up and brace/secure them temporarily… with two 2x4s per post set at 90 degrees…
3. Use a builder’s level and a rod… not a four foot carpenter’s level… and mark the first post at the desired top of form and use level to copy that mark onto the other posts…. It doesn’t matter whether you go clockwise or counter-clockwise or skip around, just mark all the posts…
4. Tie a mason’s string from the first mark and connect the rest of the marks….
STOP… and look at what you GOTT…
Make your adjustments…
THEN… get the WIFE to come look at what you GOTT…
Get a cold beer while wife is making up her mind….
Adjust strings according to WIFE’s instructions….
WHEN the WIFE has gone back in the house…
You may start working again…
REMEMBER THIS at all times… IF it looks right, it is right. Forget what the damn instrument says…
5. Put two nails in each Corner of each FormBoard (2×6, 2×8.2×10 whatever you GOTT )…
Do not hammer nails flush — leave 1/4″ so you can easily remove them… if necessary…
6. Look at your sh&t again and adjust accordingly…
7. Check and Re-square your posts if necessary…. and re-secure them tightly with braces…
Sakcrete works nicely for this…1 bag ought to do 4 posts on this job…
8. Clean up jobsite… Put tools away…
Grab another cold beer ’cause you’re done for today…
NEXT DAY….
9. Backfill around OUTSIDE of Raised Bed as needed… Gently finish driving nails home…and remove corner Form braces…
10. Some jobs in heavy clay soils may require some minimum drainage system… or 2″ of #57 driveway gravel in bottom of hole..
Do This if needed… Otherwise plants will DIE.
11. Fill INSIDE of Raised Bed with top quality soil with compost and amendments…
12. Sweep excess off Form when finished and Clean up jobsite… Put tools away…
Grab another cold beer ’cause you’re done…
13. Call WIFE … tell it’s time for her to plant her flowers…
If WIFE is really excited about HER new RAISED BEDS…
Take a shower… so She can pay you before her excitement wears off…
Deviations from this plan will VOID your warranty and your paycheck.
