Super Bowl: The haters’ guide to Ray Lewis

We posted a poll yesterday on the front page of our blog asking which team that you wanted to win the Super Bowl? I must admit that I am shocked at how evenly split the vote has been – as of 1:15pm EST the 49ers only lead by 6 votes, creating a 51% to 49% split.

For a little Super Bowl warm up, I thought I would post to a link to the Haters’ Guide to Ray Lewis.

Ray Lewis

It’s not exactly daring to hate Ray Lewis. Facebook data show that most people are rooting for the 49ers to win the Super Bowl, and I’m sure “FUCK RAY LEWIS” has a lot to do with that. No one disputes that Lewis should be a Hall of Famer, and I guess we can all agree that he’s a good leader. He sure shouts a lot. What is in dispute is whether he’s an overrated, self-aggrandizing sack of shit who throws God in your face any time you accuse him of being anything less than a saint. So let’s take a moment to break down Ray Lewis’s loathsomeness piece by awful piece in a very special hater’s guide. It’s our little trick of the devil.

[snip]

Ray Lewis wasn’t that great. It’s a whole lot easier making tackles when either Tony Siragusa, Sam Adams, or Haloti Ngata are tying up three linemen at a time, and every scorekeeper credits you with a tackle if your pinky finger happens to touch the pile, and you’re hopped up on Bambi’s antlers. Let’s not suck Ray-Ray’s dick too hard. There are other human beings on the Ravens defense, you know. That asshole isn’t doing it all by himself. Oh, but I’m sure he lent them his God Powerups.

Seriously, the dancing. It’s fucking embarassing.

So there you have it: the full case against Ray Lewis. Maybe you think he’s a reformed man. Maybe you think he’s a criminal. Maybe you think he’s some kind of fascinating, complex antihero. All I know is that he’s annoying in any form and I hope he loses by a thousand points on Sunday. And I hope there’s no space left on the field for him to lead a goddamn one-man prayer ring.

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18 Responses to Super Bowl: The haters’ guide to Ray Lewis

  1. GAWolf 02/03/2013 at 12:57 PM #

    Ray Lewis is exactly why I’m pulling for the 49ers. I had no idea there were lots of others who disliked him so. I’m just not a big fan of people who seem to use God and religion as a facade.

  2. PackerInRussia 02/03/2013 at 1:28 PM #

    I don’t necessarily hate Ray Lewis. It’s interesting to see what it takes to be a star or whatever it is you’d call it. Several times this season, I saw stats comparing London Fletcher and Ray Lewis and the numbers were very similar. Yet the only thing that you usually hear about London is about how he’s underrated. If the Skins were in the Super Bowl, he would certainly not be the one being made a big deal of in the way Ray Lewis is. So what is it? Is it just a matter of personality?

  3. Master 02/03/2013 at 1:51 PM #

    I’m no Ray Lewis fan, but I don’t care for the atheistic rant against his faith whether it’s contrived or not. If his religiosity is the source of anyone’s anger, they probably hate a lot of people.

  4. JEOH2 02/03/2013 at 2:06 PM #

    There is an interesting cultural divide when it comes to the Ray Lewis debate…it’s fascinating to watch

  5. Wulfpack 02/03/2013 at 2:13 PM #

    I think he is a POS, but that is just my own personal opinion. It is all a show if you ask me. Nothing about religion here. All about the “me, me, me. look at me” ultra ego. And there are serious question marks about his past that many brush aside because he has “made something of himself.” Really?

  6. StateFans 02/03/2013 at 3:04 PM #

    I don’t know the definition of the term ‘religiousity’ enough to discuss the topic further.

  7. GAWolf 02/03/2013 at 3:33 PM #

    I think most Christians, as I am, are wary of potential false profits or on a smaller scale people who seem to use Christianity as a facade to hide flaws or for goodness’ sake evils.

  8. Wufpacker 02/03/2013 at 6:15 PM #

    Have to say that folks that choose to dislike the Ravens as a whole just because of Ray Lewis do tend to amuse me. But then again, despite not caring for the man personally, I suppose being a Baltimore native does tend to bias me on the overall issue. But FWIW, that’s about as stupid as the folks I know that became Ravens fans after “The Blind Side” came out.

    And I’m of course certain that every player for SF are bastions of virtue, no doubt.

  9. Pack Mentality 02/03/2013 at 8:13 PM #

    Maybe the thug Ray Lewis did the world a favor in ridding the world of 2 other thugs who were stupid enough or high enough to pick a fight with him in a Nightclub. But maybe they were 2 brain surgeons who he knifed to death in his full length white fur coat.

    Maybe Ray Lewis has a special track to Jesus Christ that one can only see after committing a double homicide.

    I’m pulling for the Ravens because I could care less about any of the individual players, but I did place money on them. And I don’t think that the 49ers are filled with choir boys. In the end yes Ray Lewis is a POS but so are all the other thugs (and non-thugs) who think that the more they talk about god the better they are.

  10. Pack Mentality 02/03/2013 at 8:54 PM #

    religiosity, religionism, religiousism, pietism(noun)
    exaggerated or affected piety and religious zeal

    This is the definition that fits in Ray Lewis’ case. And yes the people who dislike Ray Lewis for this also dislike a lot of other people for that same reason. I see no atheistic reasoning behind it. If there is any atheistic reasoning please explain how that is.

  11. GAWolf 02/03/2013 at 10:17 PM #

    Watching Reed walk around and hug SF players while Lewis moans and acts a fool pretty much covers it.

  12. Wufpacker 02/03/2013 at 10:33 PM #

    FWIW, I do dislike Flacco a lot less now. :D

    Figured he had at least one WTF interception in him, but fortunately the one that almost was didn’t make it far enough for the Niners’ D-line to quite scoop it.

  13. redwolf87 02/03/2013 at 11:13 PM #

    To those of us that hate Nancy Pelosi, that power outage was very suspicious.

    In the words of the great Forrest Gump, “that’s all I have to say about that.”

    Many kudos to the Ravens. And now, Lewis can retire, secure in the fact that he somehow escaped 40-to-life in the Georgia pen, to wear a Super Bowl ring, and to live out his days living with the aftermath of whatever really happened in Atlanta that night.

    My favoritism towards the Ravens had less to do with Lewis’ Houdini act and more to do with their geographic proximity (I’m a lifelong Orioles fan) and the desire to not have to look at that hideous plastic face named Nancy any more than is necessary.

  14. Wulfpack 02/04/2013 at 7:02 AM #

    Congrats to the Ravens. They got on a Giants type run and closed it out.

    Now we get to hear Lewis all day long on Espn. No thanks.

  15. packof81 02/04/2013 at 11:04 AM #

    If Lewis is guilty, he’ll probably self destruct like OJ. I would be a little surprised if ESPN trotted him out as a commentator.

    I’m glad the Ravens won, mainly for Flacco. I felt he was underrated.

  16. Wulfpack 02/04/2013 at 12:45 PM #

    Lewis has already agreed to be an analyst for Espn.

  17. NCSU84 02/04/2013 at 9:38 PM #

    I know there are many who think Ray Lewis is a POS. But as a sports fan, if you are truly a sports fan, you cannot deny the fact that he is a great player (as some are trying to do here with comments like ‘easy to tackle with xyz on the team’. Here are the facts on Ray Lewis:

    13× Pro Bowl (1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011)

    7× AP first-team All-Pro (1999, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2008, 2009)

    3× AP second-team All-Pro (1997, 1998, 2010)

    2× Super Bowl champion (XXXV, XLVII)

    2× AFC champion (2000, 2012)

    Super Bowl XXXV MVP

    2× AP NFL Defensive Player of Year (2000, 2003)

    3× AFC Defensive Player Of The Year (2000, 2001, 2003)

    2× NFL Alumni Linebacker Of The Year (1999, 2003)

    2× All-American (1994, 1995)

  18. Wulfpack 02/05/2013 at 6:13 AM #

    Gosh no. One of, if not the, best LB of all time. But still a POS.

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