We posted a poll yesterday on the front page of our blog asking which team that you wanted to win the Super Bowl? I must admit that I am shocked at how evenly split the vote has been – as of 1:15pm EST the 49ers only lead by 6 votes, creating a 51% to 49% split.
For a little Super Bowl warm up, I thought I would post to a link to the Haters’ Guide to Ray Lewis.
It’s not exactly daring to hate Ray Lewis. Facebook data show that most people are rooting for the 49ers to win the Super Bowl, and I’m sure “FUCK RAY LEWIS” has a lot to do with that. No one disputes that Lewis should be a Hall of Famer, and I guess we can all agree that he’s a good leader. He sure shouts a lot. What is in dispute is whether he’s an overrated, self-aggrandizing sack of shit who throws God in your face any time you accuse him of being anything less than a saint. So let’s take a moment to break down Ray Lewis’s loathsomeness piece by awful piece in a very special hater’s guide. It’s our little trick of the devil.
Ray Lewis wasn’t that great. It’s a whole lot easier making tackles when either Tony Siragusa, Sam Adams, or Haloti Ngata are tying up three linemen at a time, and every scorekeeper credits you with a tackle if your pinky finger happens to touch the pile, and you’re hopped up on Bambi’s antlers. Let’s not suck Ray-Ray’s dick too hard. There are other human beings on the Ravens defense, you know. That asshole isn’t doing it all by himself. Oh, but I’m sure he lent them his God Powerups.
Seriously, the dancing. It’s fucking embarassing.
So there you have it: the full case against Ray Lewis. Maybe you think he’s a reformed man. Maybe you think he’s a criminal. Maybe you think he’s some kind of fascinating, complex antihero. All I know is that he’s annoying in any form and I hope he loses by a thousand points on Sunday. And I hope there’s no space left on the field for him to lead a goddamn one-man prayer ring.