Swofford: Evans “Academically Ineligible” For UNC Game

From the Greensboro News & Record, a shocking announcement:

Evans Declared Academically Ineligible For UNC Game

By Steve Norton, N&R Staff Writer

GREENSBORO, NC (AP) NC State Wolfpack starting quarterback Daniel Evans, the former benchwarmer who led the Wolfpack to two come-from-behind victories over ranked conference opponents, is “academically ineligible” for NC State’s upcoming game against the University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill, ACC Commissioner John Swofford announced today.

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“We, as a conference, want to make sure this young man is on pace toward his degree.” – ACC Commissioner John Swofford

The announcement surprised many conference observers, who noted that Evans is generally an outstanding academic performer with at least a “B” average – “an exemplary scholar-athlete and well-grounded young man,” according to several sources.

Swofford, however, described the suspension as a “academic precautionary” move. “We have to be concerned, first and foremost, with this young man’s progress toward his degree,” Swofford said. “As a conference, we are most concerned when a young man comes from nowhere, as it were, and leads a team to two big wins. Obviously, if he can do that, he’s not spending the amount of time he needs hitting the books.” Sitting out one game should give the redshirt sophomore time to get back on an academic even keel, Swofford said: “Maybe he’ll make straight A’s instead of almost-straight-A’s!”

Swofford dismissed as “coincidence” the fact that the ACC declared Evans ineligible for the Pack’s game with North Carolina. “I can’t see why people would see bias here,” Swofford said. “Just because I am a UNC alumnus, a former UNC quarterback, bleed Carolina blue, and served as Athletic Director at UNC doesn’t mean that I don’t exercise my ACC duties with complete impartiality.” In fact, Swofford said, “I am offended by the suggestion [of bias]. This is all about the ‘student’ part of ‘student-athlete,’ and I am sure NC State won’t miss him that much. Go Heels!”

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Go Heels! – John Swofford, circa 1971

In a related story (as first reported on the “Section Six” website), Swofford announced that “each and every touchdown” scored by the Pack in its Thursday night 24-20 upset win over Florida State is being subjected to “intensive official review” by the ACC Coordinator of Officials and fellow UNC alumnus Tommy Hunt. Hunt, when asked about the review process, said it was “double secret,” but would probably lead to one or more touchdowns being taken away on the grounds that the points were awarded on the basis of still photo evidence rather than “runnin’ pictures.”

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Jim Knight – “One Shining Moment”

Veteran ACC official Rick Page and “highly respected” Chief Official Emeritus Jim Knight will participate in the review, Swofford said, so that there can be “total confidence” in the accuracy of the review process’s findings.

See “IT’S ALL IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS,” Page C-6

General

39 Responses to Swofford: Evans “Academically Ineligible” For UNC Game

  1. Cardiff Giant 10/06/2006 at 2:08 PM #

    That’s actually what makes it so very nice to me – that it IS believable the way these clowns have screwed us over and over again.

    I apologize to anyone who had cardiac issues on seeing the headline.

  2. Jeremy Hyatt 10/06/2006 at 3:05 PM #

    please do not do that again, unless you put “Parody” in the title. *puts his heart back in his chest*

  3. roon7723 10/06/2006 at 3:15 PM #

    well actually my roommate is in daniel evans and his bro’s class and he WASN’T THERE this morning. hope the ncaa doesn’t find out.

  4. tooyoungtoremember 10/06/2006 at 3:46 PM #

    Thanks for the heart attack.

    And yes, not only was I insulted that FSU wanted to have their cake and eat it too, but I also think much less of the administration at NCCU and the university as a whole for renting their band out like that. I also felt insulted that the powers-that-be at FSU expect us to believe that their main motivation for not sending the band was the students’ academic interests rather than good ole greenbacks.

  5. justaguy 10/06/2006 at 4:09 PM #

    Swofford will announce tomorrow that Julius Peppers, Willie Parker, and Dre Bly will be available for action in the State game. “Again, we are concerned that these athletes make satisfactory progress toward their degrees. It’s not their fault the NFL interrupted their studies. UNC has been kind enough to extend a hand to these students and they are on track to graduate any year now.”

  6. Cardiff Giant 10/06/2006 at 4:09 PM #

    ^^ My finacee thought that the weirdest thing. She asked whether I’d ever heard of a school renting out another school’s band before and I had to say I had not. Actually, that gives me an idea.

  7. tooyoungtoremember 10/06/2006 at 4:29 PM #

    Glad my post could be a small source of inspiration, CG.

  8. BobLee 10/06/2006 at 4:30 PM #

    The NCCU Chancellor was on the admin faculty at Florida State. It was not a random choice. The colors were sort of the same and being on Nat TV was a treat for the NCCU folks.

    BLS

  9. redfred2 10/06/2006 at 7:25 PM #

    I love the:

    See “IT’S ALL IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS,� Page C-6

  10. highstick 10/06/2006 at 8:19 PM #

    Heck, if Willie Parker was available, Bunting wouldn’t play him.

    It was wonderful to be in a Chapel Hill motel last night watching the Pack beat Fla. State. Ironically, I got to eat breakfast this morning in the midst of the Duke, Fla. State, Virginia, and College of Charleston’s women’s golf teams. I got a couple of “digs” in with the Fla. State girls about the game.

    Did anyone want to “throw up” last night when ESPN talked about their discussions with Lee Fowler about the N C State coaching situation?

    I know this is a rambling post, but Daniel Evans has guts!!! I really like that!

  11. WolfPup35 10/06/2006 at 10:41 PM #

    Daniel Evans has more than just guts, he’s got friggin ICE WATER in his veins!! OUTSTANDING JOB ON BOTH SIDES OF THE BALL!!!!! Everyone said for us to have a chance we’d have to play damned near perfect football, well, rushing, passing, BLOCKING, defense……DAMNED NEAR PERFECT!! NO turnovers, late game sacks, stout O-line play, and smart QB play!
    THIS TEAM IS FOR REAL——-BRING ON WEAK FOREST, BRING ON CLEMSON!! EVANS FOR ACC POY!!

  12. Mike 10/07/2006 at 12:50 AM #

    I’ve been at a convention all week and away from net all day. Could not wait to read what has been posted, but come on guys/gals, I saw the headline and knew this was a spoof! Could not wait to read once I saw the headline.

  13. Lock 10/07/2006 at 5:30 AM #

    I swear to god I was about to stab something until I noticed the satire/parody label. Please do not do this to my fragile system.

  14. Wolfpack4ever 10/08/2006 at 4:57 PM #

    thebigwood Says: Maybe this isn’t the right spot, but did anyone notice how we DIDN’T introduce Sidney Lowe during the game last night?

    A lot was going on Thursday night. Sidney was very prominent on the Jumbotron with Kay Yow. More would have IMO been too much and taken away from the Breast Cancer promo Sid did with Kay.

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